Growing up in the South, every summer I attended family reunions on both sides of my family. These were not casual, thrown together events but massive undertakings requiring a state park to accommodate the crowd, the huge quantities of food and all the activities. I loved them. Seeing my cousins, being petted by my aunts and uncles, playing games and eating delicious food was heaven. The women proudly displayed their finest fried chicken, roasts, casseroles and, of course, desserts. It was our version of the county fair with verbal blue ribbons.
Weeks before, my Mother and her sisters came together in person to refine the menu and to gossip. Hanging around in the war room, aka Mother’s kitchen, I learned about my terrible Aunt Sally.
Sally came into our family by snagging my youngest uncle (Joe) who was the darling of his older sisters. She was blonde, with brightly painted nails, and a gorgeous figure. She was pretty and fun. So, my ears perked up when I heard the female tribunal in Mother’s kitchen pronounce her to be spoiled and lazy. As one proof among many, they submitted that her kitchen was too clean. Equating cleanliness to godliness did not apply in her case when the reason for the sparkle and shine was that she never cooked! Poor Uncle Joe had to forage for food in the bountiful kitchens of his sisters. Mother and my aunts chewed on that bone for many days! Over the years, I have forgotten all of Sally’s other transgressions except for one.
Her worst sin was that she brought store bought food to the family reunions. Then, to insure her descent straight into hell, she brought bread and butter pickles and white bread. This to a table that was laden with all kinds of home-made breads, biscuits, and muffins. Of course, Mother, as the queen of home made, incredibly delicious bread and butter pickles, was aghast that anyone would dare place a jar of store bought pickles near her pickles. She could not imagine anyone eating them when “perfectly good home-made pickles were available. I mean, good gracious!”
Then, too, making biscuits was a sacred ritual in Mother’s mind. She made fresh biscuits everyday as well as baked bread weekly. She would not tolerate “store bought” bread or much of anything that was store bought for her family. She canned, pickled and froze produce from her garden. She bought fresh beef on the hoof and had it cut and frozen for the freezer. When she wanted chicken, she went to her sister’s farm and killed one. I used to cringe but by the time supper came, I was ready to eat roasted or fried chicken.
As the years passed and I grew up, went off to college, married and moved away, I seldom attended family reunions. When I did participate, I did not take food since I was still considered a “child” by Mother’s family. Dodged that bullet because I was not the cook that my Mother and her sisters were!
Sally and Joe parted ways so that bit of drama faded only to be replaced by others. Sometimes I teased my Mother about Aunt Sally. Was she really that bad? Mother would give a quick shake of her head dismissing the topic and me for bringing it up.
Poor Aunt Sally…she probably needed to be a blend of Mother Teresa and Julia Child to atone for her sins!
Poor Aunt Sally! I don’t blame her one bit. You know, Price Rite bread-and-butter pickles are darned good — and I’m proud to eat ’em! 🙂
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As a child watching these encounters it was pretty mystifying. Pretty silly when seen from today’s viewpoint.
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🙂
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Reblogged this on C.M. Blackwood and commented:
A wonderful, humorous sketch of a family picnic. Read it!
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Thank you for sharing this!!
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You’re more than welcome. 🙂
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I can appreciate your mom getting a little bent out of shape for bring “store” bought food.
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Cooking was one of the ways they define themselves as wives and mothers. Plus it was a way of showing their love and I think their respect for the event.
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How many times would Aunt Sally say ‘Bless your heart’?
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You have that right! I think you’ve been in the South. Lori
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Oh that was great! Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks! It was fun to write.
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Dear sweet Sally, *sigh* the jelousies that a band of sisters disguised as women could hold are huge. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she thought she best not compete in case she upset the host of devilishly wonderful cooks. Sally brought food on purpose so they couldn’t criticise, alas poor Sally she done no wrong. A great picture you painted here thank you for sharing.😇
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I think she decided that there was no way to please them so she saved herself some work and hopefully some grief!
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Yes we have much the same thought, but she’d never win.
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You’re so right!
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My goodness, this brought back a memory from way, way back! In my family, it was Aunt Eloise. She had the audacity to be 15 years younger than my uncle. On top of it, she wore *gasp* pants! (Told you this was an old memory.) She was the coolest aunt ever! I was too young to understand what the issues were. And eventually….a decade later, she was forgiven all her transgressions by the other aunties.
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She sounds like a cool person to know. Glad it had a happy ending. Lori
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Now I want homemade biscuits and gravy! Awww….
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Mother made the best! Comfort food!
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Definite comfort food!
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*-*
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You wouldn’t believe what they charge for “just” some biscuits and gravy out here in Denver! I miss the south. =\
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Prices for everything are lower generally in the South. I will be in Florida during spring break…no deals to be found! How do you like Denver? I
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It is cold. Snows. I miss Tennessee. =\
Luckily I’ll be on Florida as well soon!
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Errr “on” or “in.”
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No worries. I would like to make a road trip around the South listening to live music, eating good food and visiting historic sites.
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Stop by Memphis for Memphis in May. 🙂
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I will put it on my list. Thanks!
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No worries! I hope you get to see it sometime. 🙂
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Thanks!
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I’m the Aunt Sally here. 😉 (minus the great figure.) I’m polite, kind (of course) but hell would freeze over before I ever tried to cook along side the women in my husbands family. Nope.
GREAT story.
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I get what you are saying. Sometimes you can’t win and it better to spend your time and energy doing things that bring you pleasure. I sense from your writing that you are a cool person. Lori
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This. So not my existence in being raised, but I completely understand it from classmates that had nor of a geocentric upbringing. Good story!
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Great story. I can relate as a Texas girl to both the giant reunions and homemade cooking. 🙂
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Thanks. I miss those reunions. Our family is spread all over. How about you? Does your family ever get together en masse? Thanks for reading and commenting on my post. Lori
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I, too, miss those reunions. We haven’t had a reunion in a long time. Everyone is so busy or living too far away. We did attend a party for my hubby’s uncle’s 80th birthday. There were lots of family there that we hadn’t seen in many years. 🙂
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It’s so much better to gather for a happy occasion such as a wedding or birthday. Some families only get together, it seems, for funerals. I have two family weddings this summer which will be great.
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Women! In the kitchen…it is truly difficult to measure up with the matriarchs. What a wonderful portrayal of a family picnic. Yes, poor Aunt Sally….she marched to her own drum. Good for her! Great post as usual, Lori:)
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She was amazing in her own way. I wish that I had known her better.
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Oh I just love this. Everyone has an Aunt Sally in their family, don’t they? I enjoyed reading about your family reunions. Quite similar to mine as I am of Irish descent. All families shouting; arguing and laughing. I so enjoyed them. I loved the way that the making biscuits was so important, but its a ritual and rituals are.
BTW Lori, I put on 4lbs this week instead of taking it off. I look to you to steer me on the right road… have a super weekend 🙂 and thanks for the enjoyable read
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Hi, It’s great that we share similar family history. It was fun to attend the reunions and I miss them.
As to the 4 lbs …After the holidays and my trip to Mexico in January my jeans were definitely snug. So, I feel your pain!Hang in there.
Wishing you a super weekend also. Cheers, Lori
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Oh, it is always hard to snag the baby of the family let alone the crown prince. Poor Aunt Sally…. Nice slice of life. I don’t know if you would be interested but please consider joining us at the Senior Salon on Wednesdays.
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Thank you. What is Senior Salon? Sounds interesting!
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It is an inlinks feature I run on Wednesdays for writers and artists over the age of 50 and who have a blog to share their writing or their artistic endeavors with each other.
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Hi, I will put it on my calendar. Thanks!
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Your mother is my new hero! I like everything about her, even the chicken stuff!
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She was quite a person. She never knew there were things she could not do or should not do. She was fearless! I did not appreciate her enough when I was growing up. But, I do now!!
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My kind of woman! so much we’d like to tell them if they were here. The scene in the graveyard in Wilder’s “Our Town” is heartbreaking for me.
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I read “Our Town” years ago. Guess I will have to re-read. You are helping my brain!
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I taught it in class many times and even directed a school production of it. But after my father died, I couldn’t bear to teach it. I had to leave the class each time the daughter (who has died in childbirth) asks to go back in time for one day and she watches all of the everyday common things going on around her and is marveled by the simple beauty of it all.
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Isn’t it amazing that the power that good literature has to move us? Thanks for sharing.
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📚
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Really good story – it reminds me of the kind Garrison Keillor would write – it pokes fun at how really outrageous women can be towards an outsider – but in a gentle humorous way. And it’s so interesting how times how changed. Once when putting together a homemade pitch in salad for a gathering, my husband said, “Just buy something. You work all week, why spend all this time on this dish?” I replied that if everyone just bought something, there wouldn’t be yummy stuff at all. Turns out, I was one of the few who brought something homemade and it was quickly eaten up! To me, cooking for those you love is caring! But I understand that isn’t possible for everyone – especially if cooking is not their thing!
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I think it is fun to plan, shop for and prepare something special for my family or guests. I have a friend who always serves things such as frozen lasagna, canned soup, packaged desserts. I like her but don’t care for her cuisine. However, I have to let it go.
In my opinion, unintentionally, my Aunt Sally challenged the authority of those matrons…
Thanks for sharing your insightful comments. Lori
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We’ve had family get togethers like this. We are in the ‘homemade’ group. The first time I roasted a turkey (28 lbs prior to stuffing), someone brought a boneless turkey breast from the grocery store deli from down the street. I was vindicated though since their turkey never got sliced!
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Home made roasted turkey beats a deli version hands down. Did they get the message? Thanks for reading and sharing your memories. Cheers, Lori
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