Render Unto Caesar

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One of my spring rituals is to moan, groan and make everyone within a ten mile radius perfectly miserable as I get in the mood, find time for, and finally settle down to do my taxes.

If I would carve out a nanosecond of the hours I spend kvetching, I would be done in an afternoon. But no, I follow the same playbook each year which may be another definition for insanity. Here is my foolproof system for the dreaded tax day!

  1.  Clean my house.  I certainly can’t sit at my desk working on my taxes if there are dirty floors, unfolded laundry or a speck of dust high on a shelf.
  2. Get out of my pajamas…no  slouching around doing taxes at the kitchen counter.
  3. Eat something.  It is important to fortify myself for the daunting task ahead.  Even though my office is just a few steps away from the kitchen, I do not want to chance fainting from hunger.
  4. Hydrate…I stand over the kitchen sink drinking water and then fill a water bottle to take to my office.  Marathon work sessions require hydration!
  5. Tune into a tax preparation station on Pandora.
  6. Open the shades to let my neighbors see that I am up early working in my office.  No slackers at this house!
  7. Make a fresh pot of coffee to ensure that I stay alert for the long haul.
  8. Give my dog Ginny a little extra attention to atone for not taking her for a walk.  Plus, a dog biscuit to pacify her…for a while at least. She looks so wistful!
  9. Sharpen some pencils …I can do crosswords in ink but not taxes.
  10. Check the thermostat…don’t want to get too chilly or sleepy in a warm room.
  11. Go to the bathroom.  While I’m there I may as well brush my teeth.  And floss too.
  12. Gather my tax documents, some blank folders and sit down at my desk.
  13. Check my emails.  Would not want to miss something important!
  14. Check my blog. I can’t neglect my blogging community!
  15. Silence my phone but first text my sons that I will be busy for awhile.
  16. Set the timer for 45 minutes to remind me to stop for lunch.
  17. Prepare a healthy lunch to get me through the afternoon. See #3.
  18. Spend the last hour of the afternoon getting the job done.

Finally, I reach that glorious moment, when all the pages are completed and the documents organized.  I deliver them to my CPA and walk out of his office singing  “Free at last. Free at last.  Praise God almighty,  I am free at last!”

Ginny is happy.  I am delirious.

102 thoughts on “Render Unto Caesar”

  2. LOL! I am off for two weeks starting next Monday. I am planning on doing my taxes first so I can be done and enjoy the rest of my time!

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      1. Yes your system is very familiar sounding but mine will entail coffee or tea breaks on the back patio waiting for birds to show up at my feeder.

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      1. Nope! I am really not myself this week. I did think about it today. If I am feeling organized tomorrow then I’ll do them. I cleaned the house today after I babysat the little neighbor dog since last Thursday, gave him back today. I love him but he is a dirty little guy!

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      2. Thinking is good! (*-*) Even though my part of my taxes are done, I always am a little nervous until my CPA finishes them. Hopefully, that will be this week. Then other projects are waiting their turn. It never ends!

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      3. Yes, true, there is always something waiting for our attention! Life keeps moving right along, I haven’t figured out where the pause button is…

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  5. Well done, good and faithful servant. Thou hast been faithful over a few things, [God] will make thine return swift. Your process sounds quite methodical and logical to me. Great writing, Lori! Just curious, what selections did Pandora offer for Tax Prep? 😉

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      1. yes I like your “tongue in cheek” writing. Its amusing to read. I daresay you aren’t as fluffy as you suggest! Very sharp lady I would reckon…. ( as in intelligent rather than snappy”)

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      3. Not sure if my original comment was lost or posted, but if lost what I said ( approximately!) was, likewise here in UK. Wet and very windy. Gales at the moment which as we live right on the coast plays havoc with my hair!

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      4. Your original came through…things do get lost in the ethernet. Just imagine these wonderful, insightful comments just floating around in space. If a tree falls in the forest….

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      5. Likewise here in England. We have heavy gales and rain, which as we live right on the coast is exciting but really plays havoc with the hairstyle!

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      6. Hi, Thanks goodness for hats! Your coastal home sounds very romantic like a novel with the heroine on the beach with her hair and clothes whipped by the wind. Fun to share thoughts with you.

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      9. I haven’t seen it in ages but its a great film isn’t it. Very atmospheric. I love where I live and its beautiful, even if the Beach is pebbles… but I think Portland is rather grand!

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  14. I loved your expression in writing of both struggle and victory. Cheers! Now go smell the roses and enjoy the triumph of achievement. Blessings!

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  15. Hi, there, thanks for visiting, commenting and following my blog!
    I can definitely identify with gathering all that tax info; mine was delivered to the CPA last week. Such a relief!

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  16. There’s acts preparation station on Pandora ? I gotta check that out! Nice essay btw. If you can make reading about someone doing their taxes interesting, by golly you’ve accomplished something there! Well done.

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    1. Yes, about hour as the information is in my computer and I have all the documents in one place. That’s the ironic part…it’s not that big of a deal. For some reason I hate doing it and procrastinate. Thanks for reading my post and sharing your thoughts. Happy Wednesday to you from Oregon.

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  20. LOL “One of my spring rituals is to moan, groan and make everyone within a ten mile radius perfectly miserable as I get in the mood, find time for, and finally settle down to do my taxes.” that is one of the best intros I have read on WordPress. Dang I wish I had written that! 😉 Nicely done!

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  23. I love the line at the end😄😄 I can completely relate to the feeling of freedom after a strenuous routine. Ginny’s happiness must know no bounds either.😄😄😄 Thank you for the follow.I do agree that the blog community is a beautiful place to be and can’t be ignored😊😊

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      1. I absolutely agree with you. The world is small when it comes to a huge literary platform as this. It’s unnerving and unbelievable to be a small part of true genius.

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      3. I am in awe of the works published here. It will always be nerve-wracking to hit publish but still a wholesome experience. I celebrate your spirit and of every blogger here who continue to impress me through their ardent desire to express.

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  25. LOL… Just knuckle down and get it done. 😉 That’s how my husband does it, while I’d rather “get all our ducks in a row” first…i.e. put off starting the task. This year he jumped on the computer at 7:30 a.m. and yes, I thought he’d gone completely bonkers. But by 9 a.m. we knew how much we were getting back from Uncle Sam. Yay!!

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  26. Pingback: Paris? Oui! – Lori Greer in Portland

  29. I don’t mind paying taxes because I enjoy being part of a functioning society. That doesn’t mean that I think all taxes go to good purposes or that there isn’t a ton of waste. I do think, though, that there has to be an easier way to figure it all out and pay it. I really dislike the annual infliction of pain. Fortunately for me, my husband takes on most of the burden while I just keep track of our charitable contributions. Good for you for getting it done!

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  30. Reblogged this on Lori Greer in Portland and commented:

    Another tax season has come and gone. The government has a pound of my flesh and I am finished until next year. I wish that I could say that this year went better. Alas, not really. I am a creature of habit. I have recorded last quarter’s tax information on my tax spreadsheet. That’s a good start! Now to record each month as the year goes by. If I do that, my taxes next year will be a breeze! Wish me luck!

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  32. You thought i wouldn’t spot that this was a repost from last year (and the year before that???), didn’t you??

    You’ll have to get up even earlier in the morning you do your taxes to get away with that one! 😉

    Good luck this year.

    love

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  33. So funny! I procrastinate, too, but this year was better. Why? Because I’m not working! Otherwise, it’d be another crazy, last minute scramble. I trust you’re breathing easier now, and enjoying Spring!

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