My Top Ten: Living Alone

Enjoy my top ten indulgences for living alone.  Feel free to add your favorites!

Living alone has its advantages!

When you live by yourself, you will find that sharing or accommodating someone else’s lifestyle is no longer required.

You can do what you want when you want.

So go ahead..

  1. Eat yogurt from the container standing over the kitchen sink, walking around your house, or even on the couch.
  2. Dine on red wine and popcorn for dinner lazing on the couch watching Netflix.
  3. Speaking of Netflix, devote the entire weekend to lounging in your pj’s watching season after season of Breaking Bad.
  4. Squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle!
  5. Sleep in the middle of the bed with the heating blanket on high.
  6. Stay up all night reading and then sleep in the next day.
  7. Wake up at 2 A.M. and read in bed with all of the lights on.
  8. Nap anytime especially in front of the fire on a cold, rainy Portland day. (Gas or electric fires only, please).
  9. Play loud music and dance like nobody’s business.
  10. Embrace indulging & breaking rules. After all, no one’s watching!

About this post

I wrote this tongue-in-cheek a fewdays ago.

As I read it again today, I felt sad.

It reminded me of a conversation with my high school French teacher.

I told her that I wanted to live alone so no one could tell me what to do!

She responded that would mean that there was no one around me to care if I were sick or lonely or to share the happy times.

As a flippant teenage, I did not give much thought to her words.

Now, having lived alone, I feel differently.

I enjoy my solitude but not the times when I feel lonely or left out of life.

I like to think that I am more sensitive to others who are alone.

Coming Full Circle

Not so long ago, I was never alone.

I had a wonderful family and a wonderful life.

I had everything.

Then Death came calling for my husband.

My sons left home to begin their adult lives.

I floundered but eventually started a new chapter on my own.

Now my sons are married with children.

There is a special someone in my life.

Jack’s Message

My friend Jack told me after my husband’s funeral,

“You will never have what you had before.  But you will be happy again”.

I just looked at him not understanding and not believing .

But you know he was right.

I am happy.  I live alone.  I have a full life.

I am so grateful.

for my sons

for my family

for my  friends

my faith

for the kindness of strangers

I am so grateful.

 

Prayer for Those Who Live Alone

Almighty God, whose Son had nowhere to lay his head; Grant that those who live alone may not be lonely in their solitude, but that, following in his steps, they may find fulfillment in loving you and their neighbors; through Jesus Christ our Lord.   Amen.   ~BCP

 

 

 

 

 

 

17 thoughts on “My Top Ten: Living Alone”

  1. See, you went ahead and made me think. Don’t do that again. I am in the fourth quarter (some say OT) of life and I just realized that I have never lived alone. The same is true for my wife. Now it is just the two of us and the obvious just became apparent (if that makes sense) that one day one of us will experience living alone for the very first time. Scary thought,

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  3. My husband is still alive and well – today is our 45th wedding anniversary – but I get occasional full days alone when her works out of town. So I’ve indulged in just about every one of Top Ten on your list. And few little things of my own invention.

    I find I can’t sleep at all unless a light is on in the house.

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  4. Oh Lori – although I enjoyed your tongue -in-cheek article and had a good chuckle over it I also agree wholeheartedly with your former French teacher. My first husband and I were together nearly all our married life for 24 hours a day. When he died I thought I could not face a life without him and then I met my JS in Saint Peter’s Square in Rome and ….. 2 years later he and I got married😁😁😁 and you mentioned that there is now
    somebody special in your life, too. I wish you luck, happiness and good health to enjoy your time together.

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  6. Honest post sensitively expressed. Prayer at end for others is beautiful. I add one thought my widowed friend told me. One day she wrote down in large capital letters something she would do that she had never done before. ie PAINT A PICTURE, Take a series of photos of a theme never contemplated before…….What she finally did amazed everyone…….She spent the winter making a bark canoe (she hated swimming and the water) and in the summer took swimming lessons and paddled round the bay (In open sea). Folks thought she had gone ‘mad’ but somehow it set the seal of her life now forced to be alone. (a girl who had never been alone in her life….large family). She inspired many folks. Thanks for your blog truly appreciated.

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    1. Thank you Faye, for sharing the lovely story of your friend. It is amazing how our families and friends pigeonhole us as widows.
      It is wonderful to have the freedom to chart a new course.
      Tell her friend “bravo” from me. Hugs, Lori

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  7. I enjoy living alone so I can do as I please, but a part of me died when my then 13 year old son, went to live with his dad in WA. Even after 2 1/2 years, I still haven’t recovered, and I’m not sure if I ever will. I have survived for years without a husband/boyfriend, so I think it might be strange for me to have a man around all the time again.

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    1. I am so sorry about your son. One of my friends once told me during a time of grief that “life is long”. I did not believe/understand it at the time.
      My good friend has two daughters who severed their ties with her. She was devastated. A few years later one daughter came back when it was time for her to marry. She wanted and needed her mother.
      My friend said that all of the pain and grief were gone…she and her daughter were looking ahead.
      I am not glossing over her pain or yours. I like to think that our kids change as they grow up. I know that there were many heartfelt discussions. I don’t know about the other daughter but I like to think that there was a reunion. I hope that you and your son reunite someday.
      It is weird to have a guy around…sometimes it is too much. Fortuntately, he has a home near me where he lives. I don’t know that I could ever live with another person. I have become quite independent. However, it is fun to share dinners, events, etc. with someone. It is great to have someone to count on. He is becoming my best friend. I find that interesting as he is so different from my husband.
      So nice to communicate with you. I really hope for the best for you.

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      1. My son and I still communicate and he visits regularly, it’s just different not having him around all the time. It’s like the empty nest syndrome has never gone away, and I’m not really sure how to function when I’m the only one I have to take care of. lol Thanks so much for your kind words though.

        At least you can send him home if he’s getting on your nerves. 😉 I think I’ve only had one romantic interest who was my best friend, and I still miss him, though he’s long gone and married to someone else.

        Peace and love to you!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I can relate to the “before” and “after” family feelings. Having a family of your own is very special, so of course we are lonely when they have left to go out on their own. But focus on all the wonderful things – grandchildren, for instance, they have given you and friends, as you have at the end of the blog, and it all comes together again.

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  10. Living alone means I can run around in my PJs all day, sing along to my favourite music without annoying anyone (close by :p), and watch the most awful horror movies/tv series without anyone complaining.

    Yes, I get lonely too, sometimes, but other times I am so happy I get time for myself. A little more balance would be nice, but for now I take it as I get it.

    Nice post, Lori 🙂 Very heartfelt.

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  11. This was such a caring, beautiful prayer, Lori!
    I am content being on my own. I appreciate the times my grown kids ask me to stop by and pick up their wrapped plate of hot food on my way home from work. I am usually too tired to stay but if grandies beg, I do try to stay.
    I tell my friends I am a “hopeful romantic” wishing for a head on the other pillow. To wake up next to someone would bring me joy. I tell my current boyfriend, I would live with him but never marry. My life insurance policy will stay dedicated to my three grown children who are the “loves I could count on.” Beautiful post, Lori. ❤

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