Staying the Course

Sometimes even the people we love either can not or will not support us in our pursuit of our dreams.

It is easy to believe that our family and friends will be our loudest cheerleaders.

Our evangelists.

It’s a sweet thought.

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You Must Be Kidding!

I wanted to be a doctor.

What take a good job away from a man?

Spend all that time and money to become a doctor and then later give it all up to stay home with your kids?

Go live in Europe?

Change jobs?

You must be kidding.

Whose Problem is This?

However, through experience I have learned that often the problem lies with the naysayers.

My dearest friends and family sometimes project their fears, their insecurities, their worldviews  on me.

And, I have let them.

I let them because of my own doubts and also  because I knew they cared about me.

 

I Did It

Yet, those wonderful times when I  did it…

I was excited every day to go work.

I was excited to make a plan and to make that plan work.

It often cost me in time, money, physical and mental fatigue.

But, the rewards? Fantastic!

Fantastic in part because they were hard won.

The reward of knowing that I gave my dream my best shot.

The knowledge that I accomplished something meaningful to me.

 

What Are Your Dreams?

Not long after we were married my husband asked me,

“What are your dreams?  How can I help you with them?”

I was speechless.  I thought my life as a wife would be in a supporting role to his life.

Thank goodness he was a better friend and husband to me than that!

I Want Your Life…Maybe

Sometimes, I meet someone and feel envious.

They have accomplished big dreams.

They are not that much different than I am.

The big difference.  They stuck with their dreams through it all.

Persistence paid off.

Then again,

Sometimes, I  meet someone and they are jealous of my life.

A successful woman living a glamourous life told me,

“You have lived the life I wanted.”

Yes, I, too, have been persistent.

My path has not been straight forward.

It has been  lonely. It has been scary.

I have trusted my crazy ideas.

I have followed my dreams.

 

Dreams

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

`American Poet Langston Hughes, 1902-1967

Langston Hughes

 

 

 

 

20 thoughts on “Staying the Course”

    1. I would agree that working even harder than men and luck play key roles. Part of the problem often for women is we don’t know how to get what we want. We have been excluded from the boardroom, golf courses, etc where a lot of decisions are made. Of course, that is all changing. At least, I hope so!

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  2. You are so right about our families supposedly being our biggest cheerleaders…but it isn’t always true. I too, wanted to be a doctor. Everybody laughed at me. My daddy said “why youngun’, what are you talking about? You need to get married and have children.”
    That’s what I did but I never lost the desire to be a doctor. The best I could do was go to medic school.
    What a wonderful husband you had. You were truly blessed and I know you realize that. You are an inspiration to me…and to others. Know that.
    You have climbed mountains and touched the sky.

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    1. I was really touched by your kind response and that you shared your story about your dream of becoming a doctor. Such a vast amount of talent that many of us had to re-direct. My Husband was a loving person and I was so lucky to have him in my life.
      Thank you for connecting in a warm and authentic manner. I hope your day is gong well.

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  3. I think Sharon has expressed so well what I wanted to say. I really liked this post Lori; it is brave and also thought-provoking. I didn’t get the “no point in going to university …” bit, but instead “when you finish university and get married …” I think my mother regarded teritary education as just offering higher-class matchmaking.

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    1. Thank you Sharon. I do trust the people who read my posts. Their feedback has been kind even when not in agreement with my viewpoint. These relationships are a gift that blogging has given me. I am glad that you are part of that community.

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  5. Even the one’s who follow all their dreams, and attain all their goals, often have horrendous nightmares along the way. I like to have lots of little dreams and, having been extremely fortunate, am content with my lot. I still dream though!!

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    1. I like to think that I am content with my lot but I have to fill my time. So, it is always a balance of “smelling the roses” and working toward a new goal. Some are huge. Others are small. Thanks so much for commenting. I value your opinion.

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  6. Thank you, Lori. Your blog is both inspirational, insightful and thought-provoking. I confirm the reality of what you have written. I had a wonderful childhood and knew I was loved, valued etc but my desire to pursue ‘higher education’ was gently sidetracked to ‘getting a job in preparation for marriage’. My husband David too like yours has been the one to actually ask me about my dreams. It may be later in life but (Grace of God in this) I still have the dreams and am seeing some fulfilled (even now), My dream was to be a writer – not an intellectual writer but a writer to sow beauty, hope, appreciation for quality of life stories into the world. Money and success were never the aim but to sow these things to others. I have written two Christian historical novels, a third is ‘in the pipeline’ and two beautiful Meditation Books (beautiful by the pictures) I believe. Dreams never, never let them die. Thank you for post. (No one really knows my name. It does not matter a jot.!) Cheers!

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    1. Thank you. It always helps me to know that others are dealing with some of the same feelings that I am. I am glad that my post helped. Connecting as humans is part of the journey and, I believe, a very important part. Take care.

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  10. It is usually the expectations of ourselves Lori, or others, that hold us in our patterns. Break them by understanding why you have them…and you are free 😀
    Great post, may your dreams hold you in love, as they should, as they are built on your love of self 😀

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