I tell little lies.
“Thank you for the lovely luncheon. Yes, everything was good.”
Actually, the soup was way too salty, the dessert cloyingly sweet.
But my timid, insecure friend would have been devastated to hear my opinion.
Almost a lie
Sometimes I don’t tell “all” which is the same as telling a lie.
Thank you for the offer. I mostly shop online.
I lie rather than telling an acquaintance I would rather not spend time with her.
Tell me what I want to hear
I have learned that sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth.
A good friend whose daughter worked for me asked how she was doing. As I framed my response I realized that what he wanted to hear was an affirmation of what a great person she was. He did not want to hear that she was often late, called in sick often and generally behaved like a brat. So, I answered,
Oh, everything’s fine. We are so busy at work You know how it goes.
I have learned that telling people the truth regardless of how it is worded can damage relationships. Sometimes, when this happens the other person and I are able to work past the hurt and anger and build an even stronger relationship. Not always, though.
I don’t want to deal with it
Sometimes, there are situation especially with difficult people where I just don’t want to deal with them or the issues.
I have difficult people in my life and I prefer to keep my interactions with them on a more superficial level. Hopefully, the feeling is mutual.
This is not how my 20-year old self would have dealt with difficult people.
When I was young, I believed that I could talk through any problem with anyone and reach an understanding. True, if the other person is on board, committed to sharing their thoughts honestly and reaching a compromise. How naive I was!
Thank you, President Bush
These rambling thoughts are in response to former president George H. W. Bush’s Life Code, the first of which is Tell the truth.*
I believe and practice that it is better to tell the truth.
When the truth is painful or serves no purpose, I believe it is better to refrain from telling the truth or sugarcoating the truth or telling a lie.
If you can’t say something good, then say nothing.
Kindness goes hand in hand with truth.
George H. W. Bush’s Life Code **
- Tell the truth.
- Don’t blame people.
- Be strong.
- Do your best.
- Try hard.
- Stay the course.
**From his eulogy delivered by Jon Meacham.