My Korean Daughter

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Men have run my life forever.  

I was the only girl stuck between two brothers.

One of their favorite games was to chase me around the backyard trying to throw worms or other slimy creatures on me.  Or, when we were alone at the dinner table they would steal my food or make me give it to them by making disgusting comments about the food.  Use your imagination on that one!

When I married and became pregnant, I yearned for at least one daughter.  That was not to be as I gave birth three years apart to rambunctious boys.

To say my world was male dominated was an understatement.   Belching contests, going as fast as possible on trikes, bikes, motorcycles, boats…eating everything in sight…such was the life with boys.

I learned that if I wanted to be a part of their lives, I would have to get on board with their “manly” activities although I drew the line at belching contests.    I learned to ride a mountain bike, drive our boat, set up the tent on camping trips.  I wasn’t great at these but I did them.  Those were wonderful years that passed way too soon.

Living with an empty nest,  I decided to host a foreign student.

Pamela, a Korean college student came to live with me.  It was a wonderful experience.

Pamela was  wonderful and fun. We talked about everything including dating, schools, the future, her life in Korea and more. I learned many things from her.

We both cried when she returned to Korea.

We keep in touch through FaceTime, Facebook and emails.

There is a chance that she will return to the US for graduate school.  Perhaps I will go to Korea.

Regardless, she has a place in my heart.   My sweet daughter.

39 thoughts on “My Korean Daughter

  1. That’s just beautiful. We have friends that have been taking in foreign students for about 10 years now. Every time we go for dinner we meet someone new, sometimes they’re from Japan, sometimes from Korea. It’s a wonderful way for them to assimilate and our friends love the experience of being a host family.

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  2. What a wonderful post! I also have two sons, both grown up now, and along with my husband, all three of them were (and still are!) sport mad! Even our last dog was male…Sometimes, I thought how lovely it would be to have a daughter with whom I could do ‘girly’ things. Luckily, I have three nieces whom I borrow from time to time. People used to say to me: ‘Don’t you wish you had a girl?’ Having suffered six miscarriages before the birth of my second son, I used to say that I was just very happy to have a healthy son!’ I love the idea of hosting a foreign exchange student .
    http://www.fancyingfrance.wordpress.com

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  3. I’m surrounded by males, too…though I wasn’t growing up, so it’s been a switch in my adulthood. Sometimes I wish for more female companionship, too. It’s wonderful that God connected you and Pamela.

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  4. A very sweet and tender story. I have two sons and they have given me two granddaughters..a bit of balance now. My darling mutt is female and definitely shows girl power. Love your writing Lori.

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  5. Oh how lovely! Do you follow Little Miss Menopause? She has a similar story. She actually did adopt an Asian daughter after having 3 sons. She talks about that occasionally but is also very witty and funny. Anyway, here’s a link if you’re interested.
    onceuponyourprime.com

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    1. Marissa…. This very nice blogger greeted me from Oregon the other day and I briefly wondered where she found me? Today I noticed several posts liked by her (thank you Lori!) and I followed the breadcrumbs back to peruse her blog. Came upon this post and was just about to comment, “Hey! I always wanted a girl and finally had enough of “fate” and adopted a Korean born daughter!” Low and behold I see you essentially commenter just that! Thank you so much for referencing me in such a complimentary way and Lori, great to be here!! Following.

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  6. I love this post. I certainly understand Lori. I have a daughter – she is my eldest she is and always was kind of feminine ‘buffer’ between the 2 sons, David and his very male focussed father . Today I’m so grateful for her and her daughter. I love the boys dearly I now have two grandsons but there is a place for the quiet feminine spaces. Your Korean daughter – may she always bring that ray of light into you life.
    An enjoyable read.

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  7. I have thought about accepting a transfer student into our home from Korea. I am fascinated by Koreans. Probably because I love Kpop and Kdramas.

    With three daughters a grandaughter and only one son -I have had my fill of girls. I love my grandsons -they are so much fun, and full of energy. I really would like to adopt a boy but my husband says we are done. Really, I am just to old anyhow. But, I’d still like a little boy running around the house buggin the girls (15) on a regular basis. The grandkids just aren’t here often enough.
    fiddledeedeebooks.wordpress.com

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  8. What a wonderful experience for both of you!!
    I love my 2 sons dearly, but a daughter would have been the icing on the cake. I’m lucky that I get my *girl* fix through my nieces who I love like daughters 🙂

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