I often feel as though my life has been lived as a subset of someone else’s life. Not that it was not good. It was so good in so many ways. Good to be a wife, a mother, a sister, an employee. Now, it is different as a widow, as a person who is not accountable to anyone. There is great freedom in being alone but also great loneliness and much sadness.
So I turned to writing to fill the void. It was like visiting an old friend with whom I could share everything. I have written my entire life. I have received accolades. I have been published. I never took it to the next level. I did not have the confidence…the know-how.
Now is my time. I am entering into my stride as a woman and I have something to say. About being a widow…left in the darkness that no light could penetrate. About learning to cope when all I wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep.
I am stronger than I ever thought possible. I set goals. I listed tasks. I accomplished them. This is me. A person who refuses to give in. I have made a new life. It is not the life I planned but it works and I am happy. I have much for which I am grateful. I have much to learn.
Writing is a way to express my thoughts, to celebrate living, to learn about others’ lives, to share the journey with others and, hopefully, to contribute to others.
“If we live good lives, the times are also good. As we are, such are the times.” St. Augustine.
“‘Win the Day’ former Oregon coach Chip Kelly’s mantra for the Oregon Ducks football team: to take care of what you can control today instead of looking down the road too often; to treat every game like it’s the National Championship.” Urban Dictionary