Sweet Girl

Last minute grocery shopping for Thanksgiving.

Her first Thanksgiving without her Mommy.

A bright, feisty,adorable, inquisitive, strong-willed three-year old.

 

Talking about Mommy

My heart breaks when she talks about Mommy being in Heaven.

As we went around the table at Thanksgiving to share what we were each thankful for, she loudly affirmed that she was grateful for  her Mommy.

It is good that she still feels the love of her Mother.

Her little face shines with the radiance and faith of an innocent child.

My sweet granddaughter who has my heart.

To Catch a Thief

Is there anything more delicious than lightly salted pistachios?

I admit, I am addicted.

I love most nuts and finding pistachios shelled is heaven.

The slight touch of salt is perfect. Continue reading “To Catch a Thief”

Unknown blessings…

Give thanks for unknown blessings that are already on their way.  ~Native American prayer

Blessings I know about.

  1. The love of family.
  2. The love of friends both near and far.
  3. My sweet dog Ginny.
  4. My good health.
  5. My warm house.

The unknown blessings will be a joy unexpected.

~Photo Lisa Fotios/www.pexels.com~

 

 

At the end of another day

While  my daughter-in-law was fighting for her life, my life was on hold.

For over for three years.

I could not commit to anything.

I was always ready to help when needed.

Now that she has passed, I have the freedom to plan a trip, enroll in a course…fun things.

But, I have no energy and very little interest.

~Photo Keenan Constance, http://www.pexels.com~

 

Life is out of focus.

I know that this will pass.

But, for now I am in the throes of making it through each day.

I am walking and walking and walking.

I am working at my job.

I do yoga most days.

I try to meditate but with little success so I listen to classical music.

I cook dishes that require lots of dicing and slicing.

I clean out closets and drawers.

I am treading water waiting for my energy to return.

Treading water doesn’t move me closer to shore but it beats sinking.

Am I treading or flailing about?

Note to self. Not very well-written. I will do better when my feet touch bottom and I can stumble to shore.

November 11, 2018: One Hundred Years Ago and Great-Uncle Earle

Beautifully written post on WWI

Lorraine's frilly freudian slip

A re-post from Remembrance Day 2018.

At the 11 hour of the 11 day of the 11th month, I will observe a minute of silence in remembrance.

One hundred years ago, on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, the guns fell silent in No Man’s Land – the end of the “war to end all wars.”

On October 31, 1917, during the Second Battle of Passchendaele, my great-uncle Earle went missing, presumed dead. His body was never found. His brother, Grover, survived the war, returning home in 1918. On a foggy night, eight years later, he and my great-grandfather died when their wooden schooner was sliced in two by a metal-hulled steamer. A family grave marker commemorates both events.

Wooden sailing ships and metal steamers meeting in the fog: an adept analogy for World War One?

Sites I’ve been visiting lately regarding World War One:

View original post 151 more words

I felt it shelter

I felt it shelter to speak to you.  ~Emily Dickinson

Thank you, my friends, for your kind and loving words at the death of my daughter-in-law.

I read them all and was comforted by them.

They were a shelter, a safe place to grieve.

Thank you for being with me.

 

Fall in Portland, Oregon    Photo Lori Greer in Portland

 

Tuesday, 9.24.2019

Hello friends,

I am currently the daily caretaker for my terminally-ill daughter in law.

She is at home in hospice care.

Our days go on mostly unchanged.

~Photo pexels.com pixabay~

Continue reading “Tuesday, 9.24.2019”

The American Way…

Before we had children, my husband and I argued about emigrating to Canada.

I did not want to raise my children in the U.S. in the 1980s because I did not like our military industrial culture.

That was before the mass shootings and outrageously expensive health care came on the scene.  Continue reading “The American Way…”

An Encounter

There was a new nurse today at my doctor’s office.

She was young and eager to please.

She had trouble taking my blood pressure.

I didn’t mind, but she was flustered.

She succeeded the second time.

She was pleased, then puzzled and then upset to see me in tears…

Of course, it had nothing to do with her…

It’s just that she was young. Continue reading “An Encounter”

Not deciding is deciding

You owe it to all of us to get on with what you’re good at.    W. H. Auden

This quote was a page-stopper for me.

It comes at a time when I am weighing options in my life.

There is what I want to do.  Quit my job and pursue other interests.

I tell myself at least once a day that I should quit and do something else.

Then there is what I feel I should do.  Stay at the job and try to contain work to a reasonable amount of time in my day and space in my brain.  So far, not happening.

I need to learn some Jedi mind tricks.

What I am good at?  Writing, communicating, helping others, finding solutions, taking care of loved ones.  Even if I am not first-rate at anything, there are many things I enjoy doing such as writing (I always come back to that), painting, playing the piano, learning computer science.

All take time and a full-time job doesn’t allow for much free time.

Everybody’s doing it

I have many friends who are retired.  I am just tired.

I want to step out in faith that the future will be OK, that I have saved enough, that I will not regret my decision.

My friend’s younger sister (40ish) was killed suddenly in a car accident a few weeks ago. A terrible reminder of the uncertainty of our time on earth.

My friend who retired in December hates it.  Other friends love it.

A man and his wife recently retired and downsized.  As he put it, “We want to make tnese decisions while we are still able rather than have someone else make them for us.”

If I look hard and long enough,  I will find arguments pro and con for quitting my job.

Every day brings me closer to starting a new life.

The question is will I let fate decide (illness, accident, industry changes) or will I be the captain of my ship?

My heart longs to travel down peaceful, quiet roads.

pexels-photo-775199.jpeg winding road pexels Kaique Rocha
~Photo Pexels.com Kaique Rocha~

Your thoughts?