Strong social support is one of the keys to happiness and good health. Making an effort to improve relationships with people already in your life is one way to increase your social support.”— Jeanne Graner Krochta, L.P. Mayo Clinic
I have an acquaintance whose hobby is collecting “friends”.
She is warm and friendly. She has amusing conversations.
She flutters from one friend to another.
She undoubtedly has hundreds of Facebook friends.
She finds no lasting joy in friendship, only the excitement of making a new friend.
Or, rather, making an acquaintance.
She drives me insane.
She pesters me to make new friends.
“How fun it would be for you to meet some new people!”
“I have enough friends, thank you.”
“But you hang out with the same people over and over. Don’t you get bored?”
“Not really because my friends are doing things, learning and experiencing life.”
“I would hate that…seeing the same people all the time.”
“Actually, I don’t see the same people all the time.”
“Yes, you do!”
“There you are mistaken. The woman I talked with last month has since read a book, or gone on a trip, or tried her hand at gardening. She is not the same person.”
She is starving
Over the years, I have realized that she longs for substance in her relationships.
Yet, she is blindsided by wanting to be popular, to be cool.
Our attempts at friendship have failed.
We are too different in our tastes, lifestyles and beliefs.
She is not a toxic person.
She tries to change me.
She drains me.
It doesn’t work
Our relationship does not work for either of us.
She pushes me in one direction.
I resist and try to push her in my direction.
So it has to end. Today. My decision is made.
I will always wish the best for her.
I will continue to engage with her at social events.
But, that’s all.
I will gently distance myself from her.
I would have liked a different outcome.
I feel at peace.
Oil and water don’t mix.