As a widow, I know the pain that comes with loss.
I thought I was immune to the fear of death.
Like the heroine of a Greek tragedy, I could bear the worst.
Yet, when I was diagnosed with cancer, my stoic wall crumbled.
I was terrified. I could not focus. I could not settle down.
This was Friday afternoon. Surgery was scheduled for Tuesday.
A long time away.
Over the weekend, I turned to the Internet to research my cancer. A big no-no. The information added to my agony.
The surgery went smoothly.
The wait for the results was excruciating.
The days passed slowly.
My anxiety was through the roof.
I kept checking my phone for a missed call from my doctor.
When my doctor finally called to tell me that I was cancer-free, the relief was indescribable.
I could breathe again. I was giddy and thankful. Another chance!
I regret the time that I lost worrying and imagining the worst.
It’s easy to get caught up in fear, especially when death seems to be waiting in the next room.
I hope to live in the present.
Life is too short to spend my days worrying.
My days are numbered.
They always have been.