When I was a child the days were endless. Life seemed to stretch forever.
I could hardly wait to start high school, wear makeup, drive, be on my own.
Now decades later, time is flying past. The days are never long enough. The years whiz by.
Although I remember lots of things from my life, in general the past often feels like a blur.
It’s funny what we do remember.
Just a kid…
As a ten-year old at summer camp I sang “I want to be a cowboy’s sweetheart” for the talent show. I was awful but the camp director saved me from total humiliation by shouting “Wow, I want to be a cowboy!”
Camp was just a few months after my Father’s sudden death. Going to camp was part of the “therapy” imposed by loving adults.
Family and more family were always around. An older brother and a younger brother. One lucky child.
Navigating high school…
High school was a blur of four years. I remember the pink dress that I wore to the junior prom.
I remember Leslie, Jan and Janet…we ruled. We were smart and sassy. We passed around a copy of a “dirty book” wrapped in kraft paper. We were so bad!
I remember declaring that “I was a tea drinking socialist”. I wasn’t sure what that meant but the reaction from my Mother was worth it!
I remember being in love with Wayne in 9th grade. We were both so shy that our friends practiced “shuttle diplomacy” to help us “like” each other.
The halls of ivy…
Endless papers, heartfelt talks with my roomies, anxiety about graduating and finding a job, and a boyfriend with marriage on his mind punctuated my college years.
Endless summer days playing tennis and relaxing by the pool until I found a job working in a furniture warehouse. The owner’s favorite saying was something like “A dollar a day. In a million days, a millionaire.” Say what?
A kind professor in graduate school guided me as I researched and wrote my thesis.
I always felt that “real life” was waiting around the corner.
Just passing through…
So life began. A marriage. A family. A career.
There were the thousands of little things, mundane activities, ordinary events that define a life. Wonderful times with my husband and our sons. The thrill of each newborn. The joy of being a family.
There were the hardtimes, the early deaths of my father, husband, and nephew.
In the past two years, the passing of my Mother, my brother and my best friend of over 30 years.
Life is short…
So, when I saw this sign on a recent trip to Cancun, Mexico*, it caused me to smile and reflect a bit. Sometimes, these signs are too schmaltzy for me. This one took hold.
There is “readiness” for learning and for treatment. Perhaps there is “readiness” for acceptance.
Life is short. No time to waste trying to please others.
Life is short. No time to waste with self-recrimination.
Life is short. No time to waste judging or trying to control others.
Life is short. No time to waste regretting the past.
Life is short. No time to waste.
Thank you for reading and for being a part of my journey.
*I enjoyed my week in Cancun. It was so different from the Pacific coast of Mexico where I have visited often. There were beautiful beaches but also a jungle where I saw many iguanas and a crocodile. From a safe distance, of course!