Italy has been on my shortlist of places to since my return from Europe in 2016.
Not in 2017, my daughter-in-law was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer a few months after giving birth to her first child.
Not in 2018, she was still fighting and I was caring for her and her baby.
Not in 2019, she was still fighting and I was caring for her and her toddler.
She died in late 2019. Continue reading “An Optimist!”
Last minute grocery shopping for Thanksgiving.
Her first Thanksgiving without her Mommy.
A bright, feisty,adorable, inquisitive, strong-willed three-year old.
My heart breaks when she talks about Mommy being in Heaven.
As we went around the table at Thanksgiving to share what we were each thankful for, she loudly affirmed that she was grateful for her Mommy.
It is good that she still feels the love of her Mother.
Her little face shines with the radiance and faith of an innocent child.
My sweet granddaughter who has my heart.
I felt it shelter to speak to you. ~Emily Dickinson
Thank you, my friends, for your kind and loving words at the death of my daughter-in-law.
I read them all and was comforted by them.
They were a shelter, a safe place to grieve.
Thank you for being with me.
If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. Meister Eckhart 1260-1328 Christian Theologian
There was a new nurse today at my doctor’s office.
She was young and eager to please.
She had trouble taking my blood pressure.
I didn’t mind, but she was flustered.
She succeeded the second time.
She was pleased, then puzzled and then upset to see me in tears…
Of course, it had nothing to do with her…
It’s just that she was young. Continue reading “An Encounter”
“When you are in the midst of a fog and can’t see the shoreline, you need a compass. Reach out to a trusted friend or adviser for perspective. People are not hard-wired to go it alone. They need others to survive and thrive.” — Edward T. Creagan, M.D. Mayo Clinic
I am fighting the fog that has descended ever since my daughter-in-law entered hospice care a few days ago.
I am thankful to friends, family and neighbors who are helping me to bear the pain.
I grieve for her stuck down by this terrible disease at such a young age.
I grieve for her husband, my son, as he watches his family torn apart.
I grieve for their toddler who will not have her mother as she grows up.
There will be happiness again one day, but, for now, we are struggling to keep the shore in sight.
I am trying to do at least one good deed per day.
No, I am not working toward a Girl Scout badge.
It’s just that in my world and in the world at large, I find that giving and helping others satisfies my soul.
It satisfies my soul while grounding me during the emotional upheaval of my young daugher-in-law’s cancer struggle. Stage 4.
I believe that I am making a difference. Continue reading “Helping myself and others…”
Out for a walk this morning, my heart is heavy.
My daughter-in-law starts two weeks of brain radiation today. Continue reading “Unexpected Figures”
Happiness.
Not in another place but this place.
Not for another hour but this hour.
~Walt Whitman, American Poet, 1819-1892 Continue reading “Carpe Diem”
