Last minute grocery shopping for Thanksgiving.
Her first Thanksgiving without her Mommy.
A bright, feisty,adorable, inquisitive, strong-willed three-year old.
Talking about Mommy
My heart breaks when she talks about Mommy being in Heaven.
As we went around the table at Thanksgiving to share what we were each thankful for, she loudly affirmed that she was grateful for her Mommy.
It is good that she still feels the love of her Mother.
Her little face shines with the radiance and faith of an innocent child.
My sweet granddaughter who has my heart.
Give thanks for unknown blessings that are already on their way. ~ Native American prayer
Blessings I know about.
The love of family.
The love of friends both near and far.
My sweet dog Ginny.
My good health.
My warm house.
The unknown blessings will be a joy unexpected.
~Photo Lisa Fotios/www.pexels.com~
While my daughter-in-law was fighting for her life, my life was on hold.
For over for three years.
I could not commit to anything.
I was always ready to help when needed.
Now that she has passed, I have the freedom to plan a trip, enroll in a course…fun things.
But, I have no energy and very little interest.
~Photo Keenan Constance, http://www.pexels.com~
Life is out of focus.
I know that this will pass.
But, for now I am in the throes of making it through each day.
I am walking and walking and walking.
I am working at my job.
I do yoga most days.
I try to meditate but with little success so I listen to classical music.
I cook dishes that require lots of dicing and slicing.
I clean out closets and drawers.
I am treading water waiting for my energy to return.
Treading water doesn’t move me closer to shore but it beats sinking.
Am I treading or flailing about?
Note to self. Not very well-written. I will do better when my feet touch bottom and I can stumble to shore.
I felt it shelter to speak to you. ~Emily Dickinson
Thank you, my friends, for your kind and loving words at the death of my daughter-in-law.
I read them all and was comforted by them.
They were a shelter, a safe place to grieve.
Thank you for being with me.
Fall in Portland, Oregon Photo Lori Greer in Portland
That’s what priests say when a person is departing.
Continue reading “Traveling Mercies”
Before we had children, my husband and I argued about emigrating to Canada.
I did not want to raise my children in the U.S. in the 1980s because I did not like our military industrial culture.
That was before the mass shootings and outrageously expensive health care came on the scene.
Continue reading “The American Way…”
`Photo Lori Greer in Portland~
Magic on a sunny afternoon.
Kids by the local ice cream store
Salt & Straw.
My dog Ginny being petted and fussed over by these little kids.
Notice where her attention is fixed.
A sweet moment that made me smile.
I hope it does the same for you.
There was a new nurse today at my doctor’s office.
She was young and eager to please.
She had trouble taking my blood pressure.
I didn’t mind, but she was flustered.
She succeeded the second time.
She was pleased, then puzzled and then upset to see me in tears…
Of course, it had nothing to do with her…
It’s just that she was young.
Continue reading “An Encounter”
~Foggy Lake Photo by Gabriela Palai/Pexel.com~
“When you are in the midst of a fog and can’t see the shoreline, you need a compass. Reach out to a trusted friend or adviser for perspective. People are not hard-wired to go it alone. They need others to survive and thrive.” — Edward T. Creagan, M.D. Mayo Clinic
I am fighting the fog that has descended ever since my daughter-in-law entered hospice care a few days ago.
I am thankful to friends, family and neighbors who are helping me to bear the pain.
I grieve for her stuck down by this terrible disease at such a young age.
I grieve for her husband, my son, as he watches his family torn apart.
I grieve for their toddler who will not have her mother as she grows up.
There will be happiness again one day, but, for now, we are struggling to keep the shore in sight.