Not deciding is deciding

You owe it to all of us to get on with what you’re good at.    W. H. Auden

This quote was a page-stopper for me.

It comes at a time when I am weighing options in my life.

There is what I want to do.  Quit my job and pursue other interests.

I tell myself at least once a day that I should quit and do something else.

Then there is what I feel I should do.  Stay at the job and try to contain work to a reasonable amount of time in my day and space in my brain.  So far, not happening.

I need to learn some Jedi mind tricks.

What I am good at?  Writing, communicating, helping others, finding solutions, taking care of loved ones.  Even if I am not first-rate at anything, there are many things I enjoy doing such as writing (I always come back to that), painting, playing the piano, learning computer science.

All take time and a full-time job doesn’t allow for much free time.

Everybody’s doing it

I have many friends who are retired.  I am just tired.

I want to step out in faith that the future will be OK, that I have saved enough, that I will not regret my decision.

My friend’s younger sister (40ish) was killed suddenly in a car accident a few weeks ago. A terrible reminder of the uncertainty of our time on earth.

My friend who retired in December hates it.  Other friends love it.

A man and his wife recently retired and downsized.  As he put it, “We want to make tnese decisions while we are still able rather than have someone else make them for us.”

If I look hard and long enough,  I will find arguments pro and con for quitting my job.

Every day brings me closer to starting a new life.

The question is will I let fate decide (illness, accident, industry changes) or will I be the captain of my ship?

My heart longs to travel down peaceful, quiet roads.

pexels-photo-775199.jpeg winding road pexels Kaique Rocha
~Photo Kaique Rocha~

Your thoughts?


11 thoughts on “Not deciding is deciding

  1. I have quit my job last year because I just couldn’t do it anymore. We are in a very, very tight financial situation but I dont regret it. It would have killed me. Tjis last year has taught me that we need a lot less than we think and also a lot less financial security than we think. It seems to me that we are bound into a system of making more and more money but not to make us happy but to make the banks and companies richer. Its unhealthy to say the least. You’ll find the right decision. Just give yourself time 🙋‍♀️🐝

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved my job (teaching) even though it was very stressful. I didn’t think I could leave it, but when I retired (early, as it turned out) I wished that I had known much sooner how wonderful life could be. My motto has been “Life begins at retirement.” I think the important thing is to pursue the things you want to do. It seems that we have many of the same interests. I have a feeling that, like me, you won’t know which to do first. But things do settle and you’ll love doing things that bring you (and others) pleasure.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Carpe Diem, Lori! Life is short and fraught with uncertainty. Maybe focusing on what creates joy will fill his those uncertain spaces. Our grandson’s wife committed suicide last weekend and tore his life apart. We are all heartbroken for him. See how life can change in a flash? I fret about the same things you do, but you are better equipped to make more choices than I am. Focus on what “ Sparks joy” for you and forget the rest! 🥰🙏. That’s all my free advice for today 😁 Dolores


  4. It’s clearly a tough decision, Lori, but I think the only person who can decide what’s best for you is… you. Why don’t you try using the PATH method? It’s a very powerful, positive method of working out your goals and what you actually want and need from your life now and in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I agree with Bee above. We have been programmed to work ourselves almost to death striving for WHAT? I know I am thinking from the perspective of an older woman who still has a husband of course, but living very ‘simply’. Retiring and not being too proud to have a pension means we can live adequately as far as creature comforts are concerned. It is an absolute JOY to wake each new day with its possibilities without the stress of having to be anywhere or let anyone else down by our decisions. Because of course we also have faith our lives are blessed now by the time and spiritual energy to ‘look up. Look around. Honestly face perhaps needs in others before we did not even see and live an ABUNDANT LIFE (no wealth, no safety net of provision but JOY in being able to choose each day what ……is our CHOICE.)
    People often view retirement as an end. I see it as re-tyrement. Like putting new tyres of possibility on the same vehicle but allowing it to go forth as a NEW beginning. (Blessings as you choose!). F.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Normally I’d say: follow your heart, but sometimes it’s difficult to hear what it says when your brain starts screaming what it wants, to.

    Maybe you can meet yourself somewhere in the middle. Is it possible to work less hours than you do now, maybe? And try and experiment with your renewed free time? Or do you have vacation days left, so you can cash some of those in and see if that extra time makes you happier? Maybe that would help you decide.

    In my experience, everyone has different stories to tell about retiring (and I myself am nowhere near retirement, so it’s all hear-say). Some love it, some hate it, some have grown used to it. It’s anyone’s guess what it’ll be to you.

    But whatever you decide: it’s the right choice for you right here, right now.


  7. Hi Lori,
    About 2 years ago, I was asking myself the exact same questions you are now asking yourself. In the end, I was lucky enough to find a part-time job with a non-profit organization that helps people with cancer. I love it and it is a first step into transitioning into retirement. Best of luck!


  8. Stepping out on faith is a big step.

    It’s one of those things I’m learning to do.

    I admire your courage to even think about quitting your job.

    One thing I do know it does not matter what you do you still going to have His favor.


  9. After my ‘dark night of the soul’ I realised that doing anything that I ‘have to’ was just going to be another miserable existence. So I followed my heart instead. The thing that I always smiled at and enjoyed was giving massages. Didn’t have a clue how to do it properly but I didn’t let that stop me. And after I became qualified I would smile and whistle as I went to work. Other people I worked with hated me because I was so happy doing what I enjoyed 😀
    Follow your heart, find the thing you really enjoy and be free ❤


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