With apologies to Charles Dickens.
In many ways, 2017 was the best of times for me.
Then in the last eight months, it was the worst of times bringing terrible grief.
Now on the last day of 2017, I am looking forward with guarded optimism to 2018.
The Elephant in the Room
This morning I read the Paul Kalanithi essay “How Long Have I Got Left?” in the New York Times.
Dr. Kalanithi addresses his concerns after his diagnosis of Stage IV cancer.
I found the article comforting as he discusses some of the same feelings and questions that I have about my daughter-in-law’s Stage IV cancer diagnosis.
I am debating whether or not to send the article to my son and his wife.
Would it pour salt in the wounds by reminding my son of the struggle and death of his father to cancer?
Would it put a damper on an otherwise happy day that he and his wife are experiencing?
Would it take away even one moment from enjoying life with their baby girl?
On the news the pundits are talking about what 2018 will bring to our country.
It’s too much to contemplate.
I feel overwhelmed with news of the country and the world.
I feel overwhelmed thinking about my son, his wife and their baby.
I decide not to send the article.
My dog Ginny alternates staring at me and the front door wondering when we are going for her daily walk.
I promise to take her soon.
Shutting down the computer, I make a few promises to myself.
To be a more loving, calmer, and thankful person in 2018.
To let go of being a superwoman and ask for help when I am overwhelmed.
To try to stay in the moment.
A big order, but for me “These are the times that try my soul”. *
*with apologies to Thomas Paine.