As I was walking out the door this morning for an 8:30 appointment, my phone rang.
It was my 3-year old granddaughter calling for a video chat.
Of course I took the call. I was prepared to be late or miss my appointment.
A minute later her sweet little face popped up on my screen. Continue reading “Little Girl in Distress”
Give thanks for unknown blessings that are already on their way. ~Native American prayer
Blessings I know about.
The unknown blessings will be a joy unexpected.
While my daughter-in-law was fighting for her life, my life was on hold.
For over for three years.
I could not commit to anything.
I was always ready to help when needed.
Now that she has passed, I have the freedom to plan a trip, enroll in a course…fun things.
But, I have no energy and very little interest.
Life is out of focus.
I know that this will pass.
But, for now I am in the throes of making it through each day.
I am walking and walking and walking.
I am working at my job.
I do yoga most days.
I try to meditate but with little success so I listen to classical music.
I cook dishes that require lots of dicing and slicing.
I clean out closets and drawers.
I am treading water waiting for my energy to return.
Treading water doesn’t move me closer to shore but it beats sinking.
Am I treading or flailing about?
Note to self. Not very well-written. I will do better when my feet touch bottom and I can stumble to shore.
I felt it shelter to speak to you. ~Emily Dickinson
Thank you, my friends, for your kind and loving words at the death of my daughter-in-law.
I read them all and was comforted by them.
They were a shelter, a safe place to grieve.
Thank you for being with me.
If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. Meister Eckhart 1260-1328 Christian Theologian
There was a new nurse today at my doctor’s office.
She was young and eager to please.
She had trouble taking my blood pressure.
I didn’t mind, but she was flustered.
She succeeded the second time.
She was pleased, then puzzled and then upset to see me in tears…
Of course, it had nothing to do with her…
It’s just that she was young. Continue reading “An Encounter”
“When you are in the midst of a fog and can’t see the shoreline, you need a compass. Reach out to a trusted friend or adviser for perspective. People are not hard-wired to go it alone. They need others to survive and thrive.” — Edward T. Creagan, M.D. Mayo Clinic
I am fighting the fog that has descended ever since my daughter-in-law entered hospice care a few days ago.
I am thankful to friends, family and neighbors who are helping me to bear the pain.
I grieve for her stuck down by this terrible disease at such a young age.
I grieve for her husband, my son, as he watches his family torn apart.
I grieve for their toddler who will not have her mother as she grows up.
There will be happiness again one day, but, for now, we are struggling to keep the shore in sight.
The pop up on my smartphone was timely.
“Reach out to a friend” was the reminder from Google that I programmed a few months ago. Continue reading “A Google Prompt”
I am coming back.
I have not posted in awhile.
I have had great ideas. I have written articles in my mind as I walked with my dog Ginny.
But putting paper to pen or fingers to computer has not happened. Continue reading “I am coming back”
