If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. Meister Eckhart 1260-1328 Christian Theologian
I am currently the daily caretaker for my terminally-ill daughter in law.
She is at home in hospice care.
Our days go on mostly unchanged.
There was a new nurse today at my doctor’s office.
She was young and eager to please.
She had trouble taking my blood pressure.
I didn’t mind, but she was flustered.
She succeeded the second time.
She was pleased, then puzzled and then upset to see me in tears…
Of course, it had nothing to do with her…
It’s just that she was young. Continue reading “An Encounter”
“When you are in the midst of a fog and can’t see the shoreline, you need a compass. Reach out to a trusted friend or adviser for perspective. People are not hard-wired to go it alone. They need others to survive and thrive.” — Edward T. Creagan, M.D. Mayo Clinic
I am fighting the fog that has descended ever since my daughter-in-law entered hospice care a few days ago.
I am thankful to friends, family and neighbors who are helping me to bear the pain.
I grieve for her stuck down by this terrible disease at such a young age.
I grieve for her husband, my son, as he watches his family torn apart.
I grieve for their toddler who will not have her mother as she grows up.
There will be happiness again one day, but, for now, we are struggling to keep the shore in sight.
I woke up early. I did not want to get up but I did convincing myself that I would feel even worse staying in bed.
I forced myself to dress, go downstairs, make a cup of coffee, drink some water and sit by the fire for a few minutes. This routine is how I start most of my days and have for years.
This is my comfortable “rut”. Continue reading “Music, Familiar”
The pop up on my smartphone was timely.
“Reach out to a friend” was the reminder from Google that I programmed a few months ago. Continue reading “A Google Prompt”
Today is my granddaughter’s second birthday.
Today is special because it is her birthday.
Today is very special because her mother is alive to celebrate with her. Continue reading “Gratitude”
I am trying to do at least one good deed per day.
No, I am not working toward a Girl Scout badge.
It’s just that in my world and in the world at large, I find that giving and helping others satisfies my soul.
It satisfies my soul while grounding me during the emotional upheaval of my young daugher-in-law’s cancer struggle. Stage 4.
I believe that I am making a difference. Continue reading “Helping myself and others…”
Out for a walk this morning, my heart is heavy.
My daughter-in-law starts two weeks of brain radiation today. Continue reading “Unexpected Figures”
I feel so helpless. I can’t do anything about my daughter-in-law’s cancer other than pray and be there for her, my son and their toddler. Continue reading “My heart is heavy”