May 2017

Her Mother had just been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.

Treatment started right away. Continue reading “May 2017”

Little Girl in Distress

As I was walking out the door this morning for an 8:30 appointment, my phone rang.

It was my 3-year old granddaughter calling for a video chat.

Of course I took the call. I was prepared to be late or miss my appointment.

A minute later her sweet little face popped up on my screen. Continue reading “Little Girl in Distress”

Sweet Girl

Last minute grocery shopping for Thanksgiving.

Her first Thanksgiving without her Mommy.

A bright, feisty,adorable, inquisitive, strong-willed three-year old.

 

Talking about Mommy

My heart breaks when she talks about Mommy being in Heaven.

As we went around the table at Thanksgiving to share what we were each thankful for, she loudly affirmed that she was grateful for  her Mommy.

It is good that she still feels the love of her Mother.

Her little face shines with the radiance and faith of an innocent child.

My sweet granddaughter who has my heart.

I felt it shelter

I felt it shelter to speak to you.  ~Emily Dickinson

Thank you, my friends, for your kind and loving words at the death of my daughter-in-law.

I read them all and was comforted by them.

They were a shelter, a safe place to grieve.

Thank you for being with me.

 

Fall in Portland, Oregon    Photo Lori Greer in Portland

 

Traveling Mercies

 

That’s what priests say when a person is departing.

Continue reading “Traveling Mercies”

The Only Prayer

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.   Meister Eckhart 1260-1328  Christian Theologian

Continue reading “The Only Prayer”

Tuesday, 9.24.2019

Hello friends,

I am currently the daily caretaker for my terminally-ill daughter in law.

She is at home in hospice care.

Our days go on mostly unchanged.

~Photo pexels.com pixabay~

Continue reading “Tuesday, 9.24.2019”

An Encounter

There was a new nurse today at my doctor’s office.

She was young and eager to please.

She had trouble taking my blood pressure.

I didn’t mind, but she was flustered.

She succeeded the second time.

She was pleased, then puzzled and then upset to see me in tears…

Of course, it had nothing to do with her…

It’s just that she was young. Continue reading “An Encounter”

What we did not want…

 

~Foggy Lake Photo by Gabriela Palai/Pexel.com~

“When you are in the midst of a fog and can’t see the shoreline, you need a compass. Reach out to a trusted friend or adviser for perspective. People are not hard-wired to go it alone. They need others to survive and thrive.” — Edward T. Creagan, M.D.  Mayo Clinic

I am fighting the fog that has descended ever since my daughter-in-law entered hospice care a few days ago.

I am thankful to friends, family and neighbors who are helping me to bear the pain.

I grieve for her stuck down by this terrible disease at such a young age.

I grieve for her husband, my son, as he watches his family torn apart.

I grieve for their toddler who will not have her mother as she grows up.

There will be happiness again one day, but, for now, we are struggling to keep the shore in sight.

 

 

 

Music, Familiar

I woke up early. I did not want to get up but I did convincing myself that I would feel even worse staying in bed.  

I forced myself to dress, go downstairs, make a cup of coffee, drink some water and sit by the fire for a few minutes. This routine is how I start most of my days and have for years.   

This is my comfortable “rut”. Continue reading “Music, Familiar”